There are a lot of terrible television shows. They are very popular and make people rich. I would like to be rich. With that in mind, I have created my own television pilot. Please give me a million dollars for it. I worked very hard on it. By which I mean my wife yelled at me for using the good kitchen scissors cutting up paper, which she says dulls the scissors. Thank you.

This concludes the pilot of my television series. Please fill out your comment card before you leave.

I feel the author of this piece deserves:

a) millions of dollars.

b) to be killed horribly by angry geese.

c) to live a life of misery drawing crappy comics.

d) all of the above.

I am a terrible person. I am on twitter as @lordjuiblex because he is the god of slime, sickness, and stupidity. Why don't you follow me? I am terrible.

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