Have you noticed everything is boring?

Five easy tricks to make money while slowly dying inside. Are celebrities actually people or are they freakish nightmare distortions of the worst human qualities? Here’s a top ten list of the top “top ten lists" of top ten lists. Learn interesting facts about what happens to your intestines if you eat panda feces.

Doctors have discovered a new emotion: it’s 80% anger, 15% despair, and 5% irrational laughter. It’s called BEING ON THE INTERNET and it may be deadly. Ask your doctor if a third lobotomy is right for you. This message brought to you by The International Association That Believes Everyone Needs At Least Three Lobotomies.

How can I get in touch with my inner child so I can abort him? Three easy meals for cooking your aborted inner child. Is garlic an aphrodisiac? If I am single and only masturbate to porn, is there any reason for me to take an aphrodisiac? What is the best porn to watch while masturbating with garlic bulbs shoved up my ass?

Should I buy a house? How do I know when I’m ready to buy a house? How should I decorate my house? Should I burn down my house? Should I stay inside my house and die in the fire when I burn down my house? What’s going to happen to my charred remains and the ashes of my burned down house?